Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
