Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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