i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
