the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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