dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
