i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
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