hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
