So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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