I wish I could punch you in the face.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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