my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
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