Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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