Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
