lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
and she was petting her beer can
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize