What did we do last night that was yellow?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Acid is not a monday night drug
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
