Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
