Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
