honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
