btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
