So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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