apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
