yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
