all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
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