Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
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