last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Randomize
