You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
