bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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