plz talk dirty to me
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I'm way too hungover for life right now
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
