i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
