My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
