I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Randomize
