Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
