can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
