meet me or not, i'm out of control
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
