I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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