hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
It's blow job season.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
