i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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