she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
How does it feel to date your dad?
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize
