I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
