are you still at the devil's house?
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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