His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
