booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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