I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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