Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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