Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Randomize
