Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
