Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
