I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
