It was confusing and full of hummus
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
