i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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