all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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