I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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