So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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