so explain again why im purple
no
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
