just tell him i said nine months
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Drake has all the answers
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
