Your tits are I can't wait for
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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