On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
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