Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
ugly people sure do ruin things
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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