I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
