I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
