Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
