Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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