Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
