You're so nebulous sometimes
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
