Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Randomize
