This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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