Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
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