those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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