OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
